I don't want to make a big deal about President Obama's late night remarks about his bowling score. He apologized and it's important for the nation to accept his apology and move on. But I think it's important to clarify why people were upset it.
My sister is 22 years old. She'll never drive a car or go to college. She'll never take a trip to the mall by herself. She'll never get married or start a family of her own. And I cannot tell you how painful it is to watch someone struggle with basic tasks like reading or paying for a sandwich at a deli. My sister has autism and when she does something that seems minor to the rest of us, it's a big deal to my family. Each time she does something without prompting or reaches a milestone in her development it brings tears to my mother's eyes.
When my sister was younger she participated in the Special Olympics and she took the third place prize in a relay race and I was so proud of her I remember that day as if it was yesterday, even though it was about 10 years ago. The focus it took for her to run that race and do something other teenagers take for granted was heartbreaking. And she needed to do it. My sister doesn't understand everything but she knows she's different. She knows that even though there are only three years between us, life will always be a little harder for her than it is for me. Everything she does is tainted by her autism. Running in that race was important for her because it was something she could be proud of.
I heard a lot of people defend the president and I know he didn't mean anything by his remark, but the larger issue is this: everyone in that room laughed at his joke. Everyone in the room poked fun at the Special Olympics, as if it was a punchline. For me, that was the most disturbing part of the interview -- That my sister and the other athletes who compete in the Special Olympics are funny in some way.
My sister didn't choose to be born with a disability anymore than I chose to be born female and black. She didn't choose it. To laugh at people who train to do something that is supposed to be confidence-building is disturbing and beneath us as Americans. We laugh at things we don't understand, rather than trying to understand them. We take the low road, because it's easier than taking the high road.
I don't find anything funny about mental or physical disabilities and I doubt I ever will. Until you've fought those little battles and accepted the limitations of someone you love, you can never understand the courage it takes for someone with special needs to participate in something the rest of us mock.
And until you've seen the dedication the organizers, athletes and parents have with your own eyes, you cannot understand how wonderful this organization really is and how much it means to everyone involved.
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This is a beautiful entry Andrea! I also was put off by the joke but understood it and accepted his apology.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up with a learning disability I feel I am more sensitive to these type of issues. But more so I grew up surronded by children with special needs. My Dad specializes in patients with special needs at his dental practice. My parents did a wonderful job of filling my life with all types of people--and seeing their abilities and disabilities for what they are. I have volunteered at the Special Olympics throughout my childhood (my Dad's partner is very active with the S.O.) and it was always a thrilling and emotional experience.
I think what we need to do is stop laughing at these jokes. And just like racist and sexist jokes, we need to call our friends and colleagues out for making these types of jokes. Obama's me culpa was appropriate...the joke obviously wasn't. I don't allow people to make those types of jokes in my presence or use derogatory language. Instead of laughing nervously others need to follow suit and stand up against this type of discrimination.